Friday, 26 August 2011

The Hard Sell:

'I'll probably get the site mixed up with the meerkat one, or the one with the phone on wheels'

It's just an advert, you think to yourself as you walk to work. "Cooooon-fused-dot-com!" you sing in the shower. Just an irritating advert, to the tune of the Village People's YMCA. "Coonnn-fused-dot-com," you mutter under your breath as you shop in the supermarket. "Coonnn-fused-dot-com," you sing, and then get annoyed, as it's so catchy. It won't work on me, you think. It might get stuck in my head, but I'm not falling for your ridiculous car insurance advert. When it comes to actually sitting down to use the website, I'll probably get it mixed up with the meerkat one, or the one with the phone on wheels, you think. And then one day, when you're waiting for Come Dine With Me to come back from one of its all-too-frequent ad breaks, you'll look at the screen. Some things cannot be unseen ? and Cara, the car insurance temptress is there, waiting for you. She might look like a shoddily drawn stick person pitched by an ad agency at 5.56pm on a Friday, but the Medusa-haired, stick-thin legged mermaid of the ad break will get you. She's not messing around: within the first six seconds of her siren song, she reaches down and pulls out a car ... from under her skirt. It's not from a pocket; there aren't any in her on-trend, very-now midi-skirt. She literally pulls a car from her lady parts. Got your attention now, hasn't she? But it's the dancing. To the beat of this newly erotic song, she's shaking her hips, she's grinding ? In a shameful 60 seconds, we're done. As you're told that nine out of 10 people would recommend the site, a wave of self-loathing washes over you. You agree. You'd do anything for Cara.

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Thierry Henry Cheryl Cole Simon Cowell David Beckham

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